I would describe my relationship with running as love/hate, however, the love usually wins.
For most of my life, I trained in ballet and modern dance multiple hours per week. I rarely went to the gym, yet I was still in amazing shape. The amazing thing about dance is that it strengths every single muscle in your body (even ones you didn’t know you had).
In 8th grade, I decided I wanted to run track at middle school. The races gave me so much anxiety I had trouble breathing and there was a huge thunderstorm at most of the meets. During one race, I crashed over a hurdle and hurt my back. Even though I placed dead last in every race that I ran, I still continue to enjoy running to this day.
Despite the negative experiences I had in track, I learned valuable lessons about myself as a runner. I was absent the day we were allowed to choose our running events (for the whole season), so I was placed in the mile race. I was still the slowest person on the team, but I found that I was much better at running long distances than sprints.
Since I stopped dancing a few years ago, I have enjoyed challenging myself with running, pushing myself to improve time and distances. The crowds and pressure of races give me a lot of anxiety, so I prefer casual trail or track running.
Like dancing, running can be physically challenging. So why do I do it?
The Pain
This may sound strange, but I kind of enjoy the physical pain of running. I also love lifting weights, getting sweaty and feeling that familiar muscular burn. Dancer have an incredibly high-toned kinesthetic sense, which is the perception of the body in space. They are in tune with every bone, muscle and fiber of their being. I experience a sense of similar physical awareness of my body when I run. I am challenged to acknowledge and respond to various body parts as they become accustomed to the motion of running.
The Wall + The High
Most people who run are familiar with the experience of “the wall”. Once you’re about a third of the way through your run, you start getting tired. Your brain tells you that you’re not going to make it and that you should just turn back now. The “size” or length of the wall seems to vary depending on the run, but exists regardless of how good you feel. The secret is to push through the wall. Once you have done this, you are good to go for miles. By the end, the run feels easier, which relates to the physiological release of endorphins and the familiar “runner’s high”.
The Psychology
One of the things I find most interesting about running is that it requires immense psychological tenacity. I find my brain never lies to me more than when I am on a run. It likes to remind me of my tiredness, pain, and sluggish pace. In addition to focusing on breathing and form, I also have to think about eliminating these negative thoughts. I have found that the secret to achieving my goals as a runner is to tell myself that I can do this, I want to do this and that I refuse to stop until I reach my goal.
The Peace
Through this experience of mental training, I have discovered an immense sense of peace and tranquility when I am running. Instead of whirling through a mental to-do list, my mind is forced to focus on smooth breathing and good form. In addition to these physical requirements, I find that my mind can only focus on one coherent thought. My mind feels much clearer and more focused when I run. I sense the presence of the Lord in many of these times, especially when I start to struggle. I see the beauty of His creation in the trees and sunlight as I give thanks for the healthy body that He has blessed me with.
The Satisfaction
Starting the day off with a run puts me in a wonderful mood. I feel energized and proud of the task that I have accomplished. I get joy from the satisfaction of finishing a great run. Keeping these positive feelings in mind helps me to push through the tough moments and keep going all the way to the end. One of my favorite running phrases is this: “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.”
Walking with Wisdom 