“We’re all in the same boat”

We’ve heard this phrase a lot recently, as our nation continues walking through the COVID-19 pandemic. It suggests that we are all experiencing the same circumstances in the same way, making it easy to relate and empathize.

The illustration may be quaint, but it’s inaccurate. Consider a more effective analogy, which recognizes that we are in “the same storm, but different boats.”

In comparison with the first phrase, the second confirms that while we are sharing common circumstances, our experiences of those circumstances have been very different.

All of us have felt absence, doubt, pain, loss and grief in some way during this season. Some of us will experience grief and pain more acutely than others. Some may not feel much pain or loss at all. Some may not experience the full impact of their mental and emotional pain until after the crisis has ended. In this way, we are not in the “same boat”. Rather, our personal experiences shape how we navigate these rough seas.

In my life so far, the impacts of the pandemic have been minimal. I am still employed, I can work from home and many people I love are healthy and safe. Yet I recognize that these things may not be true tomorrow, so I hold these gifts with an open hand.

In a way, all the uncertainty and turmoil we are facing today has been revelatory. When faced with great loss, we begin to see what we value and love the most in life. We see where we ground our identity and what we cling to when experiencing trauma. We see how we can hold on to hope and discover a way forward, even in the midst of great darkness.

As I reflect, one thing I have lost this year is the annual show with the British Dancing Academy. Looking back, this show has been a part of my life for the past 19 years – 14 years on the stage, 3 years changing costumes and 2 years managing the house.

I am honest when I say that being involved in this production is one of the greatest joys of my life. From being on the stage myself, to changing costumes, to organizing many small details and running things behind the scenes, the magic of the stage has never left me.

Of course, it’s always a lot to juggle with school or work – commuting, late nights at the theatre and hours editing spreadsheets. Each show includes about 200 costume changes and every detail must be included to keep everything running smoothly. When we do a double header of two rehearsals or shows, we can easily be at the theatre for 10-12 hours.

Every year, show season is exhausting, stressful and tensions run high. Beyond the annual chaos, I have discovered one of the most rewarding, joyful and life-giving experiences that I have been grateful to have for as long as I can remember.

In my two years as house manager, I have been blessed with the most amazing backstage volunteer team – this show literally would not be possible without them. We keep a quote board backstage for the things we “overhear” and re-read it when we’re tired and delusional. We stash hundreds of bobby pins, unroll numerous pairs of sweaty tights and frantically search for missing headpieces backstage in the dark.

We live for 15 second quick changes in pitch darkness (into tights and pointe shoes, of course). We bond with our soloists and pat ourselves on the back when they make it onstage with time to spare, looking fabulous. We stretch, do step counter challenges and eat way too many gummy bears. We come home on sore legs, wearing glitter and someone else’s sweat, ready to crash and do it all again tomorrow. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

If it were not for COVID-19, this would have been performance weekend for the dancers. To the staff and the students at BDA, especially the seniors, you have never been far from my mind or my heart. I can’t say I understand what you are going through, but what I can share with you is what a gift it is to be a student at BDA.

This spring has been strange for everyone – staff, students and volunteers – as we navigate this storm together, in our personal boats. When the storm gets bad and the sea is rough, you can cling to your boat. In the eye of the storm, remember who you are and what you know to be true.

From dance, you learn to present yourself with confidence and take pride in your work. You learn to be creative and find solutions to challenges that might be invisible to others. You become aware of your surroundings and how you relate to others in physical space. You learn to persist in seeking a way forward, even when the path becomes unclear.

Remember all of the lessons you have learned at BDA – the difficult ones as well as the wonderful ones. Be proud of your hard work and all that you’ve achieved over so many years. In the end, I don’t see this stormy season as one that will break you. I see it as one that will make you resilient, unique and whole.